Meanwhile, back in Ubud

Went to the Puri Lukisang museum yesterday which houses an incredible collection of Balinese art. The building is also stunning and the gardens were gorgeous.
Wandered around the shops for a bit and had delicious raw natural smoothies and ice cream at Soma cafe. All organic raw and delicious.
My friend Aine joined us and introduced us to Johnny the owner, a lovely Balinese man- are there any other kind?
We were chatting about different things and I happened to mention that my wrist was still hurting from the bike fall 2 weeks ago and he got a book out and showed me an article on this healer here and said I should go see him.
The other gals went to do some shopping and I jumped on the back of Johnny’s bike and he took me to the healer. He told me on the way that this guy could fix anything in the body-broken bones etc and that his gift had been handed down through generations in his family.
This lovely man saw me right away. He dabbed some goo on my wrist – a couple of different kinds-and started working his magic. There was some pain involved but not as bad as I was expecting. After about 15 minutes or so, he had fixed it! It felt like he had put things back where they were supposed to go. He said if I have any pain to come back in 5 days.
Today it is a little sore- which is not surprising since he was rubbing the hell out of my wrist but I really think its fixed! I am again blown away by these healers here.
Aine and I had a fabulous dinner at Riyoshi – a beautiful Japanese restaurant.
Had a funny dream that Oprah was in. I should explain that for decades my dreams always include celebrity guest stars. It’s quite entertaining. I stopped dreaming for the last couple of years but they are certainly back with a vengeance now. I had Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone in my dream a few nights ago. Wish I had the time to describe all my dreams, but that would be another blog!
But I had an incredible dream this morning. I felt a tremendous energy coming from above me. It took hold of me, slamming into my body and my head like being sucked into a vortex. I levitated off my bed and I started spinning around about 2 feet above my bed and then started flying around the room. This lasted for what seemed to be about 10 minutes. It felt real and not like I was dreaming and was in this exact room I am staying in.
When I came too I was in a Nepalese village in a high walled fortress that looked down onto a village far below. Ken was there with another man. They were picking out a knit hat for me to wear. A maroon one with ear flaps that was locally made.
I realized that they had drugged me- that was my flying around my room-and I had been kidnapped!
I saw a woman security guard ushering some children down a hallway and I tried to cry out to her that I had been kidnapped. ken and the man looked at each other but they didn’t try to stop me.
I got next to her and said I had been kidnapped and to please help me.
She did not look at me and was ignoring me while she was locking a door or a locker. The kids might have gone through that door.
I kept pleading with her to please help me, that I had been kidnapped and she finally looked at me with love and compassion and said there was nothing she could do for me. The dream ended.
Wild!! It’s never a dull moment here whether I’m awake or asleep!!

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Melukats and Dreams

Made performed another Melukat at the hotel on the ocean that was even more beautiful than the first one because of the gorgeous setting in the gardens.
And later we did another completely different kind of ceremony where he went into a trance, became a naga, and “attacked” whatever we were holding in our bodies and he “ate” it out of us.
This was a rather freaky experience and I was glad that I wasn’t the first one he jumped on. It didn’t hurt or anything but was strange to have a snarling little holy man jump on top of you and “eat” out your demons!
He said afterwards that he hoped my sadness was leaving me. I did feel better and I hoped the same thing too.
Now the dream…
On our last day at the ocean I had a massage by a wonderful masseuse named Tonno. During the entire massage, I could not stop thinking about my soon to be ex husband. In fact the entire time I have been here in Bali, I have been thinking about him. I want/need to stop thinking about him and this is why I am here, to move on from him and on with my life, but during the massage I just couldn’t stop thinking about him and the loss, regret, remorse, shame, sadness-you name it. All the mistakes I made, all the deeds and behaviors I regretted. Like an endless loop in my head. I felt like I was going crazy.
After Tonno left, I broke down and sobbed for about 20 minutes. I prayed to God to please help me stop thinking these thoughts, to stop obsessing, to help me move on.
That night I had a dream.
It started with this couple who used to own a local restaurant in Topanga had bought it back again and the whole community was really happy about it.
And then in the next part, My ex and I were together and we were deliriously happy and in love and it was like when we were first together, but even better. We were like little kids, joyous, playful, loving. I haven’t felt this kind of joy in over a decade. Ecstasy is the word that best fits.
A few other random things happened but at the end of the dream, he is holding my face in his hands, he is high above me, his eyes are closed and I am receiving incredible love from him.
When I woke up I was deliriously happy.
It felt like I connected to him on a soul level. One of the leaders here interprets dreams and she says it isn’t him but is the divine and that is the connection that I am seeking/experiencing.
Whatever it is, it definitely shifted something and my anxiety level lessened the next day.
I realize too that the massage was physically bringing things up-all part of the healing.
We are at a beautiful place in the country now and had another healer/channeler give us a reading. She channels Durga (google it!) and when it was my turn, she went into her trance and then started sobbing. She kept saying, “Sad! Sad! Sad!” and pounding her heart.
She asked if I was getting a divorce. She cried and held me and I cried too. She said I needed inner strength and she pounded my chest, trying to give me this inner strength. She said to not be afraid to get help from my friends and family, that I am not alone.
She said the thoughts in my head are like an endless loop (!!!) and I am thinking them because I am freer here to think of them and I don’t have the distractions that I do at home.
I was blown away by how accurate she was. Not only for me but all of us.
This was a couple of days ago and I actually feel much stronger now. The thoughts have greatly subsided and I am not anxious anymore. I feel completely different than I did last week. Amazing!!
I have had dreams every night here and they are wild with many scenes and scenarios and they go on and on. What a trip!! Wish I had time to describe them. They are epic!
Had a final Melukat today with Made and -again -it was beautiful. I feel transformed, enlightened, happy.
This trip was called “A return to essence”- Ken is thinking of changing the name to “You will get wet”!